As I've chatted with couples lately, I've been hearing a similar theme and I'd like to talk about it. "How it's supposed to be done."
So let me reassure you that whatever is important to the two of you, is what is important! Period. With the explosion of wedding blogs and Pinterest boards, I think the stress of trying to live up to expectations has completely maxed out couples.
In just the last few days I've talked to couples who were concerned about possibly doing it differently.
- The Bride doesn't want to make the Groom do the staged "tap-tap" on the shoulder for the first look. So he's going to knock on her cottage door and she'll open the door. Just like that.
- The Groom really doesn't want to have any groomsmen, might not even want a best-man. It's ok. The Bride can still have her 1 or 2. They don't have to be symmetrical.
- The Groom wants to go straight from ceremony into the cocktail reception and have as much time as possible with all of his friends and family. Great! We are taking some necessary family portraits beforehand.
Now please don't hear me wrong. If you love all of the things I mentioned, that's ok too! If that's your style then go with it! That is what matters and that is my point.
All of these thoughts have been with me since I was married in 1999. I remember the phone call vividly. My sister (my maid of honor) was shopping for her dress in San Francisco with our mom. She phoned me with heartbreak in her voice. She found her dress for the wedding but in a sad-filled tone she told me that it was a dark grey wool dress with a separate mohair sweater and that she knows it's "not what she's supposed to wear". I remember consoling her and telling her to go for it!
So my tip for you, as a once bride and as a wife and wedding photographer, choose whatever is special to you and leave out the rest. It's ok.